‘Indian parents fund dreams, get no duty in return’: Devina Mehra calls it a lose lose

Indian parents are rewriting the rules of family obligation, choosing to spare their children from caring for them in old age while draining themselves financially to fund high-cost overseas education. Devina Mehra, founder and CMD of First Global, calls this shift a “lose lose” that benefits no one.

In a widely shared LinkedIn post, Mehra highlighted what she sees as a puzzling and damaging trend among India’s middle-aged parents.

“People now want to free their children from any obligation of looking after the parents in old age,” she observed. “Will often tell them so in so many words.” At the same time, many of these parents feel an unspoken duty to pay for whatever educational ambition their children dream up, no matter the cost or consequence.

“Jis course, jis country per haath rakh diya… they feel they have to pay fees for that,” Mehra wrote. But what they get in return, she argues, is not gratitude. “The kids appear entitled, rather than grateful.”

Unlike previous generations, where a mutual understanding shaped family support—children cared for aging parents and parents funded what they could reasonably afford—today’s model expects parents to provide without limit while expecting little in return.

Mehra pointed out that in earlier times, few went abroad for undergraduate degrees. That was typically reserved for wealthy families or the rare student with a scholarship. Now, even average-income households are borrowing heavily or liquidating savings to send children overseas, often for prestige rather than practical value.

“If you want to follow the Western model, do it all the way and let the children fund their own education,” Mehra suggested. “Or let them study where you can genuinely afford to fund their fees without financial or mental stress.”

She also offered a middle ground. At the very least, parents could ask their children to pay them back once they start working.

Her critique cuts deep into the evolving Indian family dynamic, where rising aspirations meet unchanged incomes. Parents are stepping back from traditional expectations of support in old age, but also stepping into unsustainable financial roles to meet global academic dreams.

In Mehra’s view, this cultural shift leaves everyone worse off. “It makes no sense to me,” she concluded. “It’s a lose lose.”