‘Stuck in a downward spiral’: NRI’s emotional Reddit post on returning to India goes viral, netizens react

A detailed Reddit post by a 33-year-old software engineer has opened up a wider conversation on the emotional and lifestyle challenges many returning NRIs face. The original poster (OP), who spent seven years working in the US before recently shifting back to India, described how the move has triggered a decline in his health, energy, and overall motivation.

He said he is “wondering if I should take a break from work,” explaining that the life he had built abroad — full of regular hiking, sports, and outdoor activity — slipped away after coming home. Without those routines, he has gained weight, feels dull, and struggles with low energy. He wrote that he has lost “most of the health progress” he made in the US.

His financial situation, though relatively stable because of his earnings abroad, still leaves him feeling behind his peers. His savings, he said, are nowhere close to what he believes he would need for long-term security. He estimates he would require “two or three times” what he currently has to even think about retirement planning.

Despite having a remote, flexible, and not very stressful job, he said he feels disconnected from his work and unable to find motivation. Days pass quickly, he wrote, yet he doesn’t feel he is doing anything meaningful — not hobbies, not exercise, not anything that could improve his health or enrich his life.

He also opened up about his long-standing desire to start something of his own. But being introverted, having few professional connections, and not knowing where to begin have held him back. He believes he has strong skills but feels stuck at the starting line.

Adding to the emotional load is the fact that he recently got married. While he and his partner do not have children yet, he said they struggle to spend quality time together because of everything else weighing on him. The overall feeling, he admitted, is that he has “become boring.”

The post quickly attracted attention, with Reddit users responding with a mix of realism, empathy, and straightforward advice.

One commenter pointed out that this struggle is less about geography and more about adulthood itself: “In your 30s and 40s, free time is not abundant. Chores and responsibilities grow and take up your time, regardless of where you are (US or India). People often believe that because you can get house help in India, you’ll have free time or energy. But that is just used up in other ways (dealing with mundane frictions in day-to-day life).”

Another user encouraged him to break out of the cycle of overthinking and comparison, writing, “So much future planning, so much overthinking. Life is so unpredictable, my guy. One incident and puff — life’s gone. Learn to enjoy the moment right now, stop with this ‘how much is enough for a secure future’ thinking. All the comparisons, all the doubts — many people don’t even have the privileges you possess. Be happy about it and start living.”

A third user said the issue isn’t about India versus the US, but about the emotional slump the poster has fallen into: “This has nothing to do with living in the US or India! This is a genuine case of being stuck in a downward spiral. Start working out again, start pursuing your hobbies. Things will be better soon! If you are not able to, then plan to spend quality time with your partner.”